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How To Be Awesome, Chapter TwoThe sun was burning overhead by the time Canada had run out of breath. He fell against the side of the nearest building. With his hands on his knees, he stared at the ground as he let the sweat pour down his face. Silently, he cursed his brother’s name once more. He forced himself to focus on how angry he was at America, if only to forget how humiliating it was when Taiwan looked at him like that.
“Pathetic,” he panted. “I’ll never be cool enough to beat America... to impress Taiwan... to even get noticed... or remembered... by anyone!”
Canada sniffed. A few teardrops joined the sweat that ran down his face. He let himself collapse against the side of the building and he stared up at the callous blue sky. After some indeterminate amount of time, Canada noticed the sign above the door. It would seem that the building he had fallen against was a bar, and now seemed like as good a time as any to have
How To Be Awesome, Chapter OneHow To Be Awesome
The mirror hardly bothered to show Canada his reflection. With a deep breath, Canada glared at the one unruly curl that spiralled awkwardly from the side of his head and wished his genetic inheritance from France had been just a bit smoother. He reached for his hair gel.
“Empty?” he said aloud. “But it was more than half full yesterday.”
That was when Canada remembered America’s voice through the bathroom door, earlier that day.
Look out, bro! I’m borrowing some of your stuff. I’m sure you won’t mind.
Canada sighed and muttered a few words of resentment. He told himself to forget about the hair gel for now. Instead, he sprayed on a tiny amount of cologne - the maple-scented one that America tended not to borrow - and straightened out his clothes one more time.
“Maybe I should get her flowers,” Canada mused. “What do you think, Kuma-jelly?”
Attack of the Notorious Ninja BunniesThe world was now at the mercy of the notorious ninja bunnies. What had started innocently enough as a series of experiments in genetic mutation and Japanese pop culture was fast becoming a danger that threatened to take down modern society. I, for one, am thrilled.
I mean, really, does anybody actually like modern society? It's just one big rat race with a side of popularity contest and a generous dash of pollution for good measure. I say, welcome, ninja bunny apocalypse. Still... Still, it is always wise to have a back-up plan.
That is why we at Kaiju Tech Labs designed the ultimate battle machine in ninja bunny warfare. Let's see those cotton-tailed, carrot-munching, shuriken-throwing little buggers hop within a mile of this city. They've got no chance so long as we have Super Ultra Hyper Mega Tech Giant Flying Octopus (TM) on our side. Boo yeah!
But, alas and alack, Super Ultra Hyper Mega Tech Giant Flying Octopus (TM) was not
The Night Prince - Chapter 31Chapter Thirty One
In Which Lucia Finally Meets Princess Evangeline
As Lucia and Julian made their way back to the mansion, Lucia dared not look any of the townspeople in the eye. She focused on the rhythmic crunching of the gravel beneath her feet and tried to match her cadence with Julian’s. The prince walked at a pace that was a little slower than Lucia’s, although he seemed determined to stay just a little bit ahead of her. In any case, Lucia was careful not to stray far, because she dared not risk that the townspeople might think she was out alone. Too many people knew her face – and knew too little else.
They crunched their way down the path, footsteps noisy and voices silent. Soon, they reached the front of the mansion. Julian gave a fleeting glimpse in Lucia’s direction to ensure that she was still there. Lucia pretended to be in a distant reverie, staring at the leafless trees and light grey sky. In
A Bloody, Stupid Miracle The day we’d cured the human condition was the day I put a bullet through my head and didn’t die. It was also the day I realized how scared I actually was of death, and after hours of muscle ache from holding that gauze against my open skull, after the wound closed and everything went back to normal, I had myself a good old-fashioned brainstorm. How ironic.
But when summer came, everything had fallen to shit. The air scorched my skin and parched my tongue every time I took a breath. The sun glared down on a rapidly-collapsing world, full of the undying bastard children of cruelty and misfortune. What was one to do when their cells regenerated faster than they decomposed?
My feet hit the pavement, now littered with jagged bits of glass to snap at my toes, thoroughly baked by the blazing ball of bitter disdain high overhead. Today was worse than yesterday. Though I’d often wondered the purpose of it anymore, I
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