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ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 25Part Twenty Five: I Hope This Is Over Soon
Voldemort took off his mask. It was... dot, dot, dot...
Jocelyn! Who we haven't seen in a while on purpose. Because she was Voldemort.
"Jocelyn?" said A-Chels. "You were Voldemort the whole time?"
"Yes," said Jocelyn. "And I would have made it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."
"But now that that's over with," said Professor Langley, "party in Hogsmeade!"
Confetti fell from the ceiling, because the Ghost of Debs was shredding some papers. Music began to play as Rumbleroar, Anne of Green Gables, and the Spanish Inquisition paraded through.
"Wait a minute!" Shouted Professor Vicks
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 24Part Twenty Four: The Attack of Voldemort of Doom
Voldemort crashed through the door, cloak waving in the wind, booger hanging from his nose hole. The dark lord stared menacingly at the kids and teachers of Hogwarts.
"I will kill you, to get my revenge on James Potter and/or Dumbledor."
"Who the hell are James Potter and Dumbledor?" asked Halexus. Professor Vicks shushed her, because swearing is bad and has been known to cause monocle damage. Voldemort swept into the room. A swarm of dementors came in with him.
"Oh, noes!" Shouted, oh, let's say, Professor Errol. I don't know what he has to fear anymore, honestly. He's died so many
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 23Part Twenty Three: Sounding The Alarm
Note: Sounding a Voldemort alarm for false reasons is a punishable offense and could result in a fine of up to ten thousand galleons or time in Azkaban.
A sixth year Ravenclaw named C:DosRun was walking down the hall, carrying something comically large and spillable. Let's say, a fancy multi-tiered cake. Voldemort apparated right in front of her, and she screamed and kicked him and still the cake did not fall. But then she threw it at him, and it fell. On his face. It was hilarious. Also, there was permanent marker in it.
I am sorry, J. K. Rowling. I am so sorry that I am being so frivolous with
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 22Part Twenty Two: Meanwhile, In An Undisclosed Location
The Dark Lord Voldemort hid in his secret location, stewing with rage. Mmm, rage. That is the best kind of stew, right after veggie and J-. He laboured over a magical sudoku, torturing and killing the numbers and watching them flee from the page.
Then a dementor floated up to Lord Voldemort and bowed before him. Then it got up because it had barged in on Lord Voldemort on the toilet and it was really kind of awkward to begin with.
"My lord!" Said the dementor. "I have news that a rag tag band of scruffy rogues is out to
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 21Part Twenty One: Three Unforgivable Curses
Let us assume for the sake of fairness that ALL the students were present for Professor Errol's lecture. Or, at least, alot of them.
"Now then, normally I don't teach these curses," said Professor Errol, "because they are just that terrible. But this is a life or death situation, and you need to be able to defend yourself should the Death Eaters attack. Therefore..."
Professor Errol wrote a one, a two, and a three on the blackboard. Do they have blackboards at Hogwarts? They do now.
I have a little blackboard at my house, but it's green. It's a greenboard.
"Now, can anybody tell me what th
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 20bPart Twenty and Another Half, Although Not Part Twenty One, Because You Were So Kind As To Read The Part With All The Snakes: Professor Yzzie and the Electric Boogaloo
Professor Yzzie was one of the supply teachers who only showed up when someone died. You know, other than Professor Errol. Someone for whose death we weren't prepared. So Professor Yzzie did not have much to do, which was fortunate, because there was a full moon that night. You see, Professor Yzzie had a terrible secret to hide. Every month, under the light of the full moon, she would transform into a horrible deadly monster that should be far far away from children and h
27He had 27 bones
in his left hand, all under a thick netting
of coral reef. He had 27 bones in his right hand too, each perfectly preserved.
Both hands held their breath
as he approached stage exit.
Hit every bar, tour every state.
A river runs interstate through Texas.
Small yellow lines jump straight through it.
Take the US-27 from Fort Wayne to Miami. A second doesn’t make it
to his destination.
Cobalt. Aluminum. A third was found dead, drowned in his pool,
an empty shot glass floating beside him.
Cobalt weighed down his shoulders. Alumi
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