True Canadian Facts-This fact list is not available in your country.-Canada only exists because it’s fun to sit on America.-In Canada, Jay Z is called Jay Zed.-Peter Mansbridge is Canada’s most popular male pornstar name.-Our national animal is the Bieber.-Our national currency consists of coins, paper bills, and small containers of maple syrup.-Canada’s leading export is smugness about how we’re not as bad as the United States.-Toronto has two giant dicks. One of them is the CN Tower. The other is the mayor.*-To declare a thumb war in Canada, one must first get permission from the Queen.-At any given time, Canada contains more Timbits than people.-Stephen Harper is actually a robotics experiment that went horribly, horribly wrong.-The double-double is actually a coffee experiment that went horribly, horribly right.-Quebec is the only province powered entirely by spite.-Alberta’s leading export is oil. The Territories’ leading export is d
Nerdy Haiku CollectionThis plugin won’t workThis page is loading slowlyAnd now Flash has crashedDon’t you lie to meThe video is online?Not in my country.I don’t have HuluI am not AmericanAnd can’t watch this show.Internet racistMaking an ass of himselfStop spamming my pageCalling me a fake?I’m a geek in my own rightDon’t stereotypeMaybe I’m not cool.I don’t try to be uniqueI am just myself.Even for geek stuff,Trends do not matter to me.I like lots of stuff.I was once a geekBecause it meant inclusion.Now geeks are sick trolls.Be true to yourself.Popularity’s a sham.It doesn’t matter.Can’t we just be friends?Since when does D&D meanDickwolves and Dudebros?Spam in my inboxWhen did I subscribe to this?Everything is cruftI love all my friendsBut not their Facebook pages.Does that make me bad?Most people are notas stupid as haters say.Still, why fake being dumb?Not all of the webIs pictures of kitty cats.Jus
Fortune Cookies (Hetalia One-shot)The next World Meeting was only two days away. China was so busy that he didn’t notice Russia wandering into his office. It wasn’t until China became aware of an eerie presence that he finally looked up from his computer screen.“Ah! It’s Russia, aru!”Russia met China’s gaze with an unblinking stare. He held up the small box he’d brought in with him.“I made these for you,” he said with a grin.Reluctantly, China accepted the gift. The box’s contents were lightweight and rattled slightly as China set the box down on his desk. The plainness of the cardboard box was offset by a shiny red ribbon that was tied in a lopsided bow.“It’s very... um...”“Fortune cookies,” Russia said. “In case you wanted a taste of home.”China showed Russia his most gracious smile.“Thank you, aru,” he said. “Although...”China trailed off, wondering if it was a good idea to continue.
Shinji's (not) a Basket Case[to the tune of “Basket Case” by Green Day]Do you want to hearAbout your darkest fearsAnd the end of the world in the Third Impact?Giant war machines,With pilots age 14,No wonder everyone is mentally cracked.It’s not a future we deserve.Don’t think I trust the folks at NERV.It all keeps adding up,So, Shinji, hurry up.I know you’re scared but there’s a world to save.The Evas don’t workAt least one went berserk.It looks like we’re all going to end up dead.Asuka’s got no heartAnd Rei is falling apartAnd Shinji’s hiding underneath the bed.Sometimes I’m shocked they’re still aliveWhy do they let Misato drive?When you hear Shinji say, I mustn’t run awayYou know he’s gonna run.Oh, there he goes.What the hell is thatComing out of the sky?So much I didn’t want to know.There’s too much fluid in this show.It all keeps adding up.So, Shinji, hurry up.I know you’re scare
RainbowsI started out looking for rainbowsAnd found only grimy grey liesAnd I could keep searching and searchingTil the day that I drown in the skiesRoaming without maps or anchorsWishing without voice or prayerThinking I was lost foreverChained to walls that were never thereIt’s a game you win when you stop playingUnsolved and intact, you succeedThe wide open sky is my canvasI can paint all the rainbows I need
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 11Austria waited outside the bedroom door, tapping his fingers against one another. The doctor had wasted no time in arriving and beginning the examination, and yet a great deal of time had passed since the door shut. Anytime an unpleasant thought imposed itself on Austria’s mind, he replaced it with “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.” Still, time wore on and his strategy was failing him. At long last, the bedroom door opened.“Come in, please,” said the doctor. Resisting the urge to run to the bedside, Austria entered the room. Inside, Hungary lay nestled in the centre of the bed. She was resting with her arms folded behind her head and a peaceful look on her face. A serene smile graced her lips as she watched him approach.“Thank goodness you’re alright,” Austria said.“Better than alright,” said the doctor. “There is good news.”“Wait, wait,” said Hungary, si
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 10In panicked heartbeats and hushed whispers, Austria and Hungary scrambled for a plan. Many rooms away, Chibitalia was still practising. Austria could not believe that this example of precocious diligence was related to that odd man waiting outside.“Maybe it’s a coincidence,” Hungary said, although her voice betrayed that she suspected it wasn’t. Unexpectedly, she stumbled backward. Austria caught her just before she would have hit her head of the bust of Mozart.“I hate that thing,” she said faintly. Austria looked at her in concern. He had never seen her look so strained.“Why...”“I’m fine, Austria,” she said. “Just a little dizzy.” As one, they looked at the door. The anachronistic stranger was probably still waiting there. Gentle, clumsy notes continued to flow from the music room. Austria gripped Hungary tighter.“We must act now.
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 9Hungary awoke that morning to the sound of musical notes. Just the notes - not really music. The sounds were plain, clear, and orderly, yet punctuated often enough with missteps and awkward pauses. She found her slippers and wandered down the hall to investigate. As she approached the music room, she remarked how unusual it was for the door to be left wide open. Peeking inside, Hungary could not believe what she saw.Not only was Chibitalia inside the room, but he was actually seated at the piano bench. Technically, he was seated atop a stack of books on the piano bench, but he was indeed playing. Austria stood beside him, hands folded behind his back, as he watched the young child navigate the scales. Another batch of eight notes concluded. Chibitalia looked up at Austria for approval.“Again,” Austria said with a nod. “And this time, remember to only use the correct finger for each key.”“But my
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 8Even in Austria’s dreams, the elusive melody taunted him. The song he had been straining to compose presented itself in the feeling of a perfect flow, and yet was discernible only in tantalizing bits and pieces. If he could only capture that song, he swore, he could hold the key to maintaining his empire’s glory. His family would need -Wait.He had a wife, not a whole family. There were no -
Wait, again.Blinking awake, Austria tried to bring his world back into focus. It was pitch dark inside the bedroom. He couldn’t see a thing, so he just listened. The faintest chirping of the crickets outside. Hungary’s gentle, even breaths. And something else.A string of strange and discordant notes drifted from the music room. Austria slipped out of bed and followed the sound. He paused outside the music room door. Sure enough, the sound was his dear piano being played by horrendously unskilled hand
Padre del TiempoYesterday,microscopic.Shrinking tree bark and the smell of absencetoday.God— or something—She's been here, telling the snow to falland the bloom that I will bring another day.
Bisexual PrideYes I am biNo it does not matterEvery person is as good as the latterI love differentlyYet I think the sameMany may say it but I am not insaneIt's not a phaseor a lust for sexIt is me on the inside being myself
canadian autumn magic Welcome home, the Earth says as the equinox draws closer the autumn is bountiful; like sliding into a hot spring after the hectic summer. There is always magic in the air when September brings its colors forth, waving its flag proudly, cheers erupting joyously. We change over to hold the trees closer together, waters cold and sparkling like mercury bursts of fragrance lingering every day; &
I. peel apart my insides reveal the insidespetal by petal I fall apart in your hands
Wings of Hopeintuition bird, sing bright the dawn as blooming secrets fall soft on mosaic stones;our gentle vines creep wild as wind,a wandering metamorphosis:winter caterpillar, spring cocoon,summer wings twinged and falling into flowersbefore reinventing destinyharmony garden, keep parched and persevering;this world will stop one dayto water the seeds with why, and was, and maybe someday could be--for now, nature watches quietas sun-dust butterfliescollect drifting souls like wishing stars
.i want to sink intothe earthand rise up againblooming
Echos of Autumn PassingRows of dried corn stalks bendwith the wind thatthirsts for rainthat will only come when it has diedand the ears of corn cease to rattle.And the thunder's distant laughwill chase after the snakes heading for their mounds on higher ground,their husks abandoned-the flash floods may yet pass them by.
.dead flies scatterthe windowsill, theirbodies shrivelled anddried by the suni mourn the spider,hung with his own web
Swedish Elkhound-LitShe tugged on my fur like I was a teddy bear,Her tiny fingers curled in my thick gray mane.My fluffy tail is her blanket of warmth.She laughs and giggles at everything I do.And I laugh at the joy she so easily receives.As she rests on her mother's lap to sleep-My master and I slip from the cabins nest.Evening approaches as dusk settles in the air.My ears pricked for the slightest of sounds,I keep my nose pointed down- for the scent of elk.It fills my nostrils as if they stood before me.A bark emanates from deep within me,Then I dash across the snow-covered terra.My master followed at a distance, trusting my senses.My prey cannot hide its tracks along the forest floor.And before they know it I am upon them.The bull turns to face me to protect his does.He will not fear me nor do I fear him as he charges.I dodge his antlers with the swiftness of a ghost,I sink my teeth into his hind leg then release quickly.He calls out in pain as he rings his head around.'BANG! BA
CricketsSounds that sparkleBreaking gently over the etherEchoes of a summer eveningThe heartbeat of time