True Canadian Facts-This fact list is not available in your country.-Canada only exists because it’s fun to sit on America.-In Canada, Jay Z is called Jay Zed.-Peter Mansbridge is Canada’s most popular male pornstar name.-Our national animal is the Bieber.-Our national currency consists of coins, paper bills, and small containers of maple syrup.-Canada’s leading export is smugness about how we’re not as bad as the United States.-Toronto has two giant dicks. One of them is the CN Tower. The other is the mayor.*-To declare a thumb war in Canada, one must first get permission from the Queen.-At any given time, Canada contains more Timbits than people.-Stephen Harper is actually a robotics experiment that went horribly, horribly wrong.-The double-double is actually a coffee experiment that went horribly, horribly right.-Quebec is the only province powered entirely by spite.-Alberta’s leading export is oil. The Territories’ leading export is d
Nerdy Haiku CollectionThis plugin won’t workThis page is loading slowlyAnd now Flash has crashedDon’t you lie to meThe video is online?Not in my country.I don’t have HuluI am not AmericanAnd can’t watch this show.Internet racistMaking an ass of himselfStop spamming my pageCalling me a fake?I’m a geek in my own rightDon’t stereotypeMaybe I’m not cool.I don’t try to be uniqueI am just myself.Even for geek stuff,Trends do not matter to me.I like lots of stuff.I was once a geekBecause it meant inclusion.Now geeks are sick trolls.Be true to yourself.Popularity’s a sham.It doesn’t matter.Can’t we just be friends?Since when does D&D meanDickwolves and Dudebros?Spam in my inboxWhen did I subscribe to this?Everything is cruftI love all my friendsBut not their Facebook pages.Does that make me bad?Most people are notas stupid as haters say.Still, why fake being dumb?Not all of the webIs pictures of kitty cats.Jus
Fortune Cookies (Hetalia One-shot)The next World Meeting was only two days away. China was so busy that he didn’t notice Russia wandering into his office. It wasn’t until China became aware of an eerie presence that he finally looked up from his computer screen.“Ah! It’s Russia, aru!”Russia met China’s gaze with an unblinking stare. He held up the small box he’d brought in with him.“I made these for you,” he said with a grin.Reluctantly, China accepted the gift. The box’s contents were lightweight and rattled slightly as China set the box down on his desk. The plainness of the cardboard box was offset by a shiny red ribbon that was tied in a lopsided bow.“It’s very... um...”“Fortune cookies,” Russia said. “In case you wanted a taste of home.”China showed Russia his most gracious smile.“Thank you, aru,” he said. “Although...”China trailed off, wondering if it was a good idea to continue.
Shinji's (not) a Basket Case[to the tune of “Basket Case” by Green Day]Do you want to hearAbout your darkest fearsAnd the end of the world in the Third Impact?Giant war machines,With pilots age 14,No wonder everyone is mentally cracked.It’s not a future we deserve.Don’t think I trust the folks at NERV.It all keeps adding up,So, Shinji, hurry up.I know you’re scared but there’s a world to save.The Evas don’t workAt least one went berserk.It looks like we’re all going to end up dead.Asuka’s got no heartAnd Rei is falling apartAnd Shinji’s hiding underneath the bed.Sometimes I’m shocked they’re still aliveWhy do they let Misato drive?When you hear Shinji say, I mustn’t run awayYou know he’s gonna run.Oh, there he goes.What the hell is thatComing out of the sky?So much I didn’t want to know.There’s too much fluid in this show.It all keeps adding up.So, Shinji, hurry up.I know you’re scare
RainbowsI started out looking for rainbowsAnd found only grimy grey liesAnd I could keep searching and searchingTil the day that I drown in the skiesRoaming without maps or anchorsWishing without voice or prayerThinking I was lost foreverChained to walls that were never thereIt’s a game you win when you stop playingUnsolved and intact, you succeedThe wide open sky is my canvasI can paint all the rainbows I need
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 11Austria waited outside the bedroom door, tapping his fingers against one another. The doctor had wasted no time in arriving and beginning the examination, and yet a great deal of time had passed since the door shut. Anytime an unpleasant thought imposed itself on Austria’s mind, he replaced it with “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.” Still, time wore on and his strategy was failing him. At long last, the bedroom door opened.“Come in, please,” said the doctor. Resisting the urge to run to the bedside, Austria entered the room. Inside, Hungary lay nestled in the centre of the bed. She was resting with her arms folded behind her head and a peaceful look on her face. A serene smile graced her lips as she watched him approach.“Thank goodness you’re alright,” Austria said.“Better than alright,” said the doctor. “There is good news.”“Wait, wait,” said Hungary, si
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 10In panicked heartbeats and hushed whispers, Austria and Hungary scrambled for a plan. Many rooms away, Chibitalia was still practising. Austria could not believe that this example of precocious diligence was related to that odd man waiting outside.“Maybe it’s a coincidence,” Hungary said, although her voice betrayed that she suspected it wasn’t. Unexpectedly, she stumbled backward. Austria caught her just before she would have hit her head of the bust of Mozart.“I hate that thing,” she said faintly. Austria looked at her in concern. He had never seen her look so strained.“Why...”“I’m fine, Austria,” she said. “Just a little dizzy.” As one, they looked at the door. The anachronistic stranger was probably still waiting there. Gentle, clumsy notes continued to flow from the music room. Austria gripped Hungary tighter.“We must act now.
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 9Hungary awoke that morning to the sound of musical notes. Just the notes - not really music. The sounds were plain, clear, and orderly, yet punctuated often enough with missteps and awkward pauses. She found her slippers and wandered down the hall to investigate. As she approached the music room, she remarked how unusual it was for the door to be left wide open. Peeking inside, Hungary could not believe what she saw.Not only was Chibitalia inside the room, but he was actually seated at the piano bench. Technically, he was seated atop a stack of books on the piano bench, but he was indeed playing. Austria stood beside him, hands folded behind his back, as he watched the young child navigate the scales. Another batch of eight notes concluded. Chibitalia looked up at Austria for approval.“Again,” Austria said with a nod. “And this time, remember to only use the correct finger for each key.”“But my
Hetalia: Sweet Child Of Mine, ch 8Even in Austria’s dreams, the elusive melody taunted him. The song he had been straining to compose presented itself in the feeling of a perfect flow, and yet was discernible only in tantalizing bits and pieces. If he could only capture that song, he swore, he could hold the key to maintaining his empire’s glory. His family would need -Wait.He had a wife, not a whole family. There were no -
Wait, again.Blinking awake, Austria tried to bring his world back into focus. It was pitch dark inside the bedroom. He couldn’t see a thing, so he just listened. The faintest chirping of the crickets outside. Hungary’s gentle, even breaths. And something else.A string of strange and discordant notes drifted from the music room. Austria slipped out of bed and followed the sound. He paused outside the music room door. Sure enough, the sound was his dear piano being played by horrendously unskilled hand
Black Cat Amber EyeBlack coat with silken hair,The eyes bright and young in years.But what this glance is sayingIs as old as the world.The eyes almost closed,Snuggled and silent dreaming,She lies like spilled –Inwards restless, exuberant.Stretched out peaceful and easy –Gentle soul, full of happiness.I ask myself what she might intendBy her soft glance?Often, she lies around sleepingAnd after a while, she opensThe little mouth and bends the back.But everything without haste.Then, when she starts to rub gentlyAround my legs, purring –It is only up to herWhen she moves my heart.When I take her in my armsAnd look into her amber eyes,How my heart warms upAnd help me to believe in the good.Black coat with silken hair,On velvety paws slightly –We walk together year for yearUntil our journey will have come to an end.And when once you will leave me, my purring companion,So, I cover you tenderly with love.And I think of you fondly what enlightens my spirit:Re
GarryxReader .:Together Forever:.For as long as you could remember, you have always worked at a very pleasant, and nice art gallery. Yet,at the same time, it seemed a bit....off. You would work late, and the pictures seemed to...move. Writing on the walls. Some pictures being blank. You blamed it on your sleepiness, and seeing things,but every time you mentioned it to your friend Garry, he seemed to dwell on it a second,then change the subject.You were a bit annoyed with this,yes, because you knew he was in the gallery, in 'another world' with a girl named Ib. You couldn't help but think she was a bit more special than you, since you have had a crush on Garry since you first met him. You manage to stutter around him when he was to close, or when he hugged you."Are you ok ______?" He would ask, curiously staring at your reddened face.You manage to squeak out an "I-I'm fine!" and walk off quickly after that.But today,today you were going to tell him you liked him.You had to,since your friends were pressuring you in
I. peel apart my insides reveal the insidespetal by petal I fall apart in your hands
Bisexual PrideYes I am biNo it does not matterEvery person is as good as the latterI love differentlyYet I think the sameMany may say it but I am not insaneIt's not a phaseor a lust for sexIt is me on the inside being myself
A Wolf's LullabyLooking through my opened windowUnable to sleep at allI hear a wolf's cryFull of sadness and painAt the sound of it I start to cryRunning into the forest with only my pjsI follow the trails of wolvesLooking for wounded soul that criedFinding the wounded animalKnowing it's about to dieI get on my knees and craddle it's headSinging a wolf's lullabySeveral years later unable to sleep againI hear the sound of wolves cryingFull of happiness and rejoiceI fall asleep at the sound of a wolf's lullaby
hallucinationsheat waves don't caress youlike ocean breezes; they hitlike two-year oldfistson their bellies,foaming flames at the mouth.the only romantic thingabout summeris how she seems to flylike a mustang across the sun-soakedpool pavementand into the kool-aid bluewater--she is eight againand burned a scarlet redand she's asking if I believeheaven is in that bright,cloudless skywhile she floats on herback in the devil's light"darlin, heaven is whereice tea is an arm's lengthaway"and somehow her quiet laughterpresses through the fogof a vaporized mindand somehow her smile relaxesthe choke of afternoons in Julyand somehow we are in the kool-aid blue skydrinking ice tea with angelshere the sweat does not tickle,does not sting,but glistens on our browslike crowns.
Padre del TiempoYesterday,microscopic.Shrinking tree bark and the smell of absencetoday.God— or something—She's been here, telling the snow to falland the bloom that I will bring another day.
Pokemon NaturelockePokemon Naturelocke====================Rules:1. Can only catch first Pokemon in area.2. Must box fainted Pokemon in a PC labeled Grave, Tomb, Paradise, Heaven, etc...3. Pokemon get certain abilities corresponding to nature:Adamant: Firm. Sturdy.-Takes two deaths to fully die.Bashful: Easily embarrassed. Shy.-May not be set to lead party.Bold: Fearless. Daring.-Can survive one death from Pokemon of higher level.Brave: Risk taker. Heroic.-Can sacrifice itself to revive a Pokemon.Calm : Undisturbed. Peaceful.-Psychic Pokemon cannot kill this Pokemon. Careful: Cautious. Protective.-Can revive one Pokemon of its own type(s).Docile: Easy to manage. Ready to learn.-Gentle: Sensitive. Polite.-Can not battle against Fighting types.Hardy: Healthy. Tough.-Pokemon cannot be killed by K.Os.Hasty: Done too quick. Short tempered.-Can not hold items or berries.Impish: Immature. Mischievous.-Not allowed to evolve.Jolly: Cheerful. Pleasing.-After capture, allows you to catch the n
.you forget thatroses have thorns;a prick of theskin will tell youthat you're holdingher too tight
CricketsSounds that sparkleBreaking gently over the etherEchoes of a summer eveningThe heartbeat of time