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Submitted on
May 10
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This was a trauma so immense
It could only be seen from space
And now
Only now
That I have reached so high
Do I truly know
The danger I was in

They say
When climbing
One should never look down

I am not afraid of falling
I am afraid of ever having been so low
I made myself cry a bit with this one.  Usually, I don't explain my poems because either they're rather obvious or I'm just playing with words.  This one, however...

I've been in some situations that were basically abusive, but they were just, you know, life.  It wasn't even that I figured I was a lousy person who deserved it.  I just thought, this is it.  I didn't know that it was possible for people like me to have safety.

I don't really want to get into too much detail, but, basically, I want to stress the importance of being objective.  Like, more objective than you think you are being.  Don't wait for you to find yourself in a bad situation, because these things rarely make themselves known.  They sneak up on you, little by little, and if you stay quiet and polite because you don't want to rock the boat (a.k.a. the other person's comfort is more important than your well-being = you ultimately assume you deserve to be mistreated because, in a way, you're justifying the other person's behaviour), it's not like you can "pay your dues" and things will start to turn around.  They just keep getting worse.  It's okay to stand up for yourself, and if that makes people hate you, then that just tells you the kind of people you need to watch out for.

The title has a double meaning.  Don't look down = don't be afraid of climbing out of your situation.  Also, don't keep your head down = don't be ashamed.  Stand up for yourself.

Dammit, I'm crying again. 
:iconscattle:
Scattle Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
In some ways, the realization that we've been hurt after refusing to acknowledge it for so long is worse than the hurt itself. Your self perception and understanding of the world around you is likely in flux. You're strong, important, and damn brave, girl.
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:iconcaptainquirk:
CaptainQuirk Featured By Owner May 15, 2014
It is scarier.  It is SO much scarier.  It's like when you get a cut and it doesn't hurt because you're in shock, but then as it heals, it hurts ALL THE TIME.  This is the psychological equivalent of that.

:hug:  Thanks for understanding.  Your kind words mean a lot to me.
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