How To Report The News5. When talking about a local issue, walk through the city while pretending you don't live there.4. In introducing an international news story, you must display a picture of said country's flag, just in case people have no idea what country you are talking about and yet somehow recognize the flag.3. Bombs, gunfire, storms, and earthquakes always "rock" the affected area. There is no other verb permitted.2. All religions should be represented by the single most belligerent and insane person who affiliates themself with said religion.1. If you have to choose between a fact and a pun, go for the pun.