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FacepaintWhen I was volunteering for the summer fair, my assignment was facepainting. This tearful little boy was shoved into the chair by his mother, an angry-looking woman with more frown lines than I have ever seen on a relatively young person. I figured that the boy was crying due to boredom; the stress of waiting in that long lineup. However, it didn't take me long to realize the real reason: he didn't want his face painted. As he screamed and struggled, I looked to his mother, who only told me brusquely that her son WOULD have his face painted. I felt so bad for the kid. Brushing a little happy blue onto my hand, I showed him that it didn't hurt. He didn't care. When I encouraged him to choose a colour, he only cried louder, and I looked to his mother again.
"He's really struggling," I told her.
"Just do it," she replied.
I debated sending them on their way, untouched. After all, it was a fr
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 30 ENDWriting words galore in this word war I check the score
Of my city, my best friends, and myself.
I can't believe how far we've reached
And how many goals we've breached
And now we're drifting like a continental shelf.
Because victory's distracting
And now we're overacting
In the coffee shops.
The deadline is advancing
And we got each other dancing
On table tops.
The month is ending and the jokes are obscene
We feel exhausted but we're high on caffeine
Here comes the manager. He closes my laptop screen.
We're getting kicked out of Starbucks
We're getting kicked to the curb
We're getting kicked right out of Starbucks
The other patrons are perturbed.
So pack up your lattes,
Your netbooks and Macs
Your trusty moleskine
And your sugary snacks
We're getting thrown out
And we're not allowed back
In Starbucks, Starbucks.
Crazy word goals and a crazy month passed
Good friends, good times, and the days went so fast
Snow on the ground, we're still having a blast
NaNoWriMo is totally aw
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 28 and 29Part Twenty Eight: Attack of the Zombie Errols
Quirk ducked behind a pile of crates, clutching the machine gun like it was her last hope for survival. For dramatic purposes, I should say it was, but a good grenade would have done the trick as well. Meanwhile, the zombie Errols shuffled by outside the storage compartment's thin metal walls. A characteristically loud vocalization shook the storage compartment.
Quirk cast a sideways glance at Tabs, who was the only other survivor. Tabs nodded and raised her machete. She gestured towards the door, from which Quirk was quite certain that she heard the sound of staggering, sliding footsteps. The two inched up by the side of the door and waited for it to burst open.
The zombie Errol charged at the door, shaking it on its hinges but not quite breaking it. Quirk winced. The zombie Errol tried again. The door sh
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 26 and 27Part Twenty Six: Another Chapter
Hello, everyone, and welcome to this chapter. Oh, wait, this chapter has been preempted by a Giant Tornado. See you in Chapter Twenty Seven.
Part Twenty Seven: A Spare Chapter Because I Am At Starbucks And Have Nothing Else To Do, Except Bother Other People Who Are Trying To Finish Their Novels, So I Figure I Should Do This Instead
As seagulls circled under the midday sun, a little raft bobbed somewhere in the middle of the South Pacific. Too far from civilization to tell which way was which, and too disenchanted to care how they got there in the first place, the few survivors waited in silence for salvation. Well, in relative silence. Quirk and Scott Hamel were singing. It was an odd sound, because Quirk did not know the lyrics and Scott Hamel's accent was still changing every couple of lines. You would think that that doesn't make the difference when you're singing, because m
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 25Part Twenty Five: I Hope This Is Over Soon
Voldemort took off his mask. It was... dot, dot, dot...
Jocelyn! Who we haven't seen in a while on purpose. Because she was Voldemort.
"Jocelyn?" said A-Chels. "You were Voldemort the whole time?"
"Yes," said Jocelyn. "And I would have made it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."
"But now that that's over with," said Professor Langley, "party in Hogsmeade!"
Confetti fell from the ceiling, because the Ghost of Debs was shredding some papers. Music began to play as Rumbleroar, Anne of Green Gables, and the Spanish Inquisition paraded through.
"Wait a minute!" Shouted Professor Vicks. "None of this story makes any sense whatsoever!"
She frantically searched through her various lists to see how any of this story could have made sense, and in doing so, broke the fourth wall. Seeing as the other walls had already been destroyed by giant spiders a
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 24Part Twenty Four: The Attack of Voldemort of Doom
Voldemort crashed through the door, cloak waving in the wind, booger hanging from his nose hole. The dark lord stared menacingly at the kids and teachers of Hogwarts.
"I will kill you, to get my revenge on James Potter and/or Dumbledor."
"Who the hell are James Potter and Dumbledor?" asked Halexus. Professor Vicks shushed her, because swearing is bad and has been known to cause monocle damage. Voldemort swept into the room. A swarm of dementors came in with him.
"Oh, noes!" Shouted, oh, let's say, Professor Errol. I don't know what he has to fear anymore, honestly. He's died so many times. It's like a meme or something. (A cookie for you if you have killed Errol in your story this year.)
Sunny rolled up her sleeves and banged her fist against her open hand, as if she were making angry peanut butter.
"Voldemort's going down!" She
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 23Part Twenty Three: Sounding The Alarm
Note: Sounding a Voldemort alarm for false reasons is a punishable offense and could result in a fine of up to ten thousand galleons or time in Azkaban.
A sixth year Ravenclaw named CosRun was walking down the hall, carrying something comically large and spillable. Let's say, a fancy multi-tiered cake. Voldemort apparated right in front of her, and she screamed and kicked him and still the cake did not fall. But then she threw it at him, and it fell. On his face. It was hilarious. Also, there was permanent marker in it.
I am sorry, J. K. Rowling. I am so sorry that I am being so frivolous with your wonderful creation.
CosRun, also known as cdossenb, also known as Corey, meant to warn everyone else that she had spotted Voldemort, but then Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones appeared and used the memory eraser thing on her. She forgot all about everything and continued on her
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 22Part Twenty Two: Meanwhile, In An Undisclosed Location
The Dark Lord Voldemort hid in his secret location, stewing with rage. Mmm, rage. That is the best kind of stew, right after veggie and J-. He laboured over a magical sudoku, torturing and killing the numbers and watching them flee from the page.
Then a dementor floated up to Lord Voldemort and bowed before him. Then it got up because it had barged in on Lord Voldemort on the toilet and it was really kind of awkward to begin with.
"My lord!" Said the dementor. "I have news that a rag tag band of scruffy rogues is out to defeat you."
"Oh?" said Lord Voldemort. Had he had any eyebrows, he would have raised one of them.
"Fear not, my lord," said the dementor. "I killed them all."
"Alright," said Voldy. "Be sure to file a report on your way out."
"Okay," said the dementor. It flipped back its hood, revealing a mass of blonde an
ToNaNo Hogwarts Part 21Part Twenty One: Three Unforgivable Curses
Let us assume for the sake of fairness that ALL the students were present for Professor Errol's lecture. Or, at least, alot of them.
"Now then, normally I don't teach these curses," said Professor Errol, "because they are just that terrible. But this is a life or death situation, and you need to be able to defend yourself should the Death Eaters attack. Therefore..."
Professor Errol wrote a one, a two, and a three on the blackboard. Do they have blackboards at Hogwarts? They do now.
I have a little blackboard at my house, but it's green. It's a greenboard.
"Now, can anybody tell me what the first curse is?"
Halexus raised her hand with such force that she nearly fell out of her seat. She bounced around, waving her hand, even though no one else was volunteering to answer the question.
Professor Errol blinked.
"Um... no. No, I
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