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Hakuna KedavraVoldemort and Snape apparate into the Great Hall. It's mostly dark there, except the Lumos command is still active on Snape's wand. He holds it up like a torch.Snape: Hey, I thought we couldn't apparate here.Voldemort: Silence! We have to reveal our plot to the audience.Snape: All those kids, you mean?[Snape holds up his wand, revealing the ceiling is covered in Hufflepuff first years, hanging like bats. One is wearing a bat costume and googly eyes.]Voldemort: What's it matter if they hear how we're going to kill Harry Potter? They're going to die in the next scene anyway. [The kids gasp]Voldemort: Or now. Avada Kedavra.[He fires a bolt at the ceiling, knocking down the kid with the googly eyes. The spirals on his eyes turn to Xs.]Snape: Oh... I see you mean business.[They laugh].Snape: Avada Kedavra. [Snape aims in a random direction. A kid falls screaming from the
How To Report The News5. When talking about a local issue, walk through the city while pretending you don't live there.4. In introducing an international news story, you must display a picture of said country's flag, just in case people have no idea what country you are talking about and yet somehow recognize the flag.3. Bombs, gunfire, storms, and earthquakes always "rock" the affected area. There is no other verb permitted.2. All religions should be represented by the single most belligerent and insane person who affiliates themself with said religion.1. If you have to choose between a fact and a pun, go for the pun.